white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i would punch a child for taco bell
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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