if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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