love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
