Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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