Well apparently he's into motor boating.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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