i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
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