I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I have already put on my inside pants.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
