Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
