I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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