He had one of those small greek statue penises
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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