it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
