so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
