we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
