Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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