She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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