You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
