i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
