hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
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