Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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