My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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