This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
