I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
