Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
