that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
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