How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
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