hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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