Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
