So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
