Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
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do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
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Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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