how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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