are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
