it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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