Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
