One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Randomize
