I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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