I'm drive I can fine osifer
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
