Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
