Whoa Z and x make the same sound
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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