his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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