So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
you didnt know i had herpes?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
