Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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