I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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