u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
