i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
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