I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
