Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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