I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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