i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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