she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
