Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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