"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
