Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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