Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Randomize
