I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
