My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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