You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
