This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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