____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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