I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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