its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
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