please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
did you just send me my own nude
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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