I just cut my nipple shaving
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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