That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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