you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
